Into the Deep End

My son is learning to swim. He is now able to cross over the ropes into the deep end (closely supervised!) without a life jacket. He boldly jumps in and bubbles back up to the surface wearing expressions of excitement, uncertainty, and a little bit of fear. He takes a breath, puts his face in the water, swims to the edge, climbs the ladder and goes in again. His strokes are still clumsy but he is making great progress.

As a writer, I’ve been avoiding crossing over to the deep end. It’s safe over here in the shallow end where my feet can touch the bottom, writing about topics like laundry, cooking, great deals I found on Amazon, and what I’m reading. Every now and then, with great trepidation, I move a little closer to the deep end and publish something that requires a bit of vulnerability, but not quite over the ropes, where I’m more susceptible…..to drown. 

I have poured out my heart writing pages and pages about anxiety and panic attacks, feeling isolated without a circle of friends, introversion, dealing with life’s unexpected curve balls, not living up to expectations, and abandoning crazy dreams for something safe…..all the topics that require me to drift into open water allowing all my imperfections and struggles to be exposed but I have not published them.

Brene’ Brown, vulnerability expert, says, “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.” 

So I am just going to have to jump in and experience the uncertainty and fear along with the excitement because I feel called to share. Maybe what I write will resonate with at least one person and let them know they are not alone.

And if I feel like I’m going under, if the vulnerability feels too heavy, I’ll just take a breath, put my face in the water and swim….even if my strokes are clumsy.

9 thoughts on “Into the Deep End

  1. Gosh, this resonates with my heart! Fear definitely keeps me in the shallow end – I’m working on trying to dive deeper, but it’s not easy…however, it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone 🙂 Please jump in with your writing – your words are beautiful!

    Like

    1. Debbie – Thank you for your encouragement and kind words. I don’t know if it’s better to take your time or just dive in, but I’ve been hanging out in the shallow end for a LONG time, so I’m just gonna jump and start working to publish all those words in my notebooks! Best wishes to you on your journey to the deep end.

      Like

  2. I can’t wait to read your words! I can relate to the feelings you express in this post. I live with these same feelings every day. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone.
    Thank you for sharing your vulnerability.

    Like

    1. Kelly,
      Thank you for your response. I think we are all way more alike than we think and have the same insecurities. Thank you also for he encouragement to keep writing!

      Like

  3. Thanks for showing me that I am not the only one in this situation and need to take the deep dive without worrying about what others might think or say.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.