In my last post, I wrote, “I keep second guessing myself, but then remember that when God calls you to do something, it’s not necessarily going to be easy. Of course, then I second guess the calling!!”
Not long after I that, I was driving to the store and the song “Reason” by Unspoken came on the radio. I felt like God was sending me a musical message, a confirmation. I sat in the parking lot, downloaded the song, and read over the lyrics.
“But God has a plan, a purpose in this. You are His child so don’t you forget.
He put that hunger in your heart. He put that fire in your soul.
His love is the reason to keep on believing.
When you feel like giving up, when you feel like giving in…..
His love is the reason, to keep on believing.”
I have to believe this burning desire to write is what I’m being called to do.
I’ll confess, I’ve been somewhat reluctant and even embarrassed to tell people that I quit my paying job with good benefits to write for fear they will think I’m crazy. Also, because being a writer doesn’t seem like a real job until you actually get paid or can show someone a book with your name on the cover. (I’m working on that!)
Luckily, my writing group, hope*writers, lets me know I am not alone in my thinking. Additionally, there are several authors who have written books on this very topic…Jeff Goins, Anne Lamott, and Stephen King to name a few I’m reading now.
So, with God in my corner and fellow writers cheering me on, I think about a quote by Jessica Honegger, “When you’ve got a vision, you don’t have time to wait around for your fears to vanish before you start moving.”
So, I guess I’ll just tuck my fears away and keep moving and keep believing.
If you are in a similar situation, I sincerely hope that you won’t second guess yourself and quit on your vision.
“Life is going by very quickly and if you’re not careful, you’re gonna be 80 years old and have spent your life wishing that you’d gotten your work done.” Anne Lamott
Until next time…..be well.
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Making a career change had been floating around in the back of my mind for several years; but, I had a good job with a secure paycheck, it was my security blanket. It seemed reckless to think about giving that up. Unfortunately, my security blanket was starting to suffocate me. In the middle of my 20th year as a speech-language pathologist in the public schools, the stirring in my soul for something different became uncomfortable. My job was lacking in providing me any creative outlets and as a supervisor, I was working less with the students and more at my computer churning out reports and preparing paperwork for meetings. Much like the man in the short film “Alike,” I felt like I was turning gray.
My career had been a good one. I enjoyed the people I worked with and the students I served, but I couldn’t ignore my desire to write and connect with people about issues other than speech and language disorders. I needed a place to dump all the words and ideas from my head and send them out into the universe. Like Rachel Hollis says in Girl, Wash Your Face, “So I have two choices, I can write down words and send them out into the world and hope they find a home. Or I can hide my light under a bushel because I’m too afraid someone won’t like the glare.” I wondered, “What if God has given me a light to share with others?”
It was a big decision and a big move, so I prayed for guidance. I was excited thinking about writing. It would allow me to be creative, interact more with my writing groups, have a flexible schedule, work from home, and take better care of myself and my family. I prayed for God to send me signs to know if I was making the right decision and folks, its started raining signs.
First I got this in my Facebook feed and then I came across the same quote on an actual sign in a store!
and I started reading this…
and then I came across this…
Maybe the Heavens thought I wasn’t getting the message kinesthetically or visually and I needed a sign in audio! In this podcast, Emily P. Freeman discusses ending her career as a sign language interpreter to write and she references Greg McKeown’s book!
I pondered……”What is essential? What is the next right thing?” I was feeling pretty certain that it was time for me to make a change, but I was scared. For several months, I let fear push me around like a playground bully and all the “what ifs” took over. What if I make the wrong decision? What if I quit and end up regretting it? What if I fail and let everyone down and look like a fool? What if….what if……what if? It was making me crazy until I changed my perspective with the help of Emily P. Freeman.
The Next Right Thing was being published as a book and I was accepted to the launch team. This gave me the ability to read the book before it was released. The information I gained was invaluable in helping me make my decision.
After a lot of pondering and thoughtful prayer, I finally made up my mind and got my husband’s blessing since writing isn’t always a lucrative career and I wouldn’t be bringing home a steady paycheck. Even then, I sat in fear, scared to turn in my resignation and seal the deal. What got me moving was something I read in The Next Right Thing. Emily writes, “If God has something to tell you, and you continue to place yourself before him, he won’t let you miss it. As you take your next right step today, trust that God won’t let you miss your own future. Follow the arrows.”
I trusted God, followed those “arrows” and I did it! I will not be returning to my position next year. It still doesn’t seem real. I’ve never not worked at a job where you clock in and out and have a steady paycheck since I graduated from high school almost 30 years ago. (Um….except for the 6 months when I opened an art gallery which was a total blast creatively, but a complete failure financially.) You can read about that here. I lost money but I gained so much more and have no regrets about that adventure.
Its been only weeks since my last day of work; yet, I can already feel color washing over me, filling me up. I’m coming alive again! I want this color to overflow to my son, my husband, and others around me. My husband, who is a mostly serious man, likes to say I live in a world of bubblegum and bobby socks. I guess I kinda do; but, I LIKE it here! I think we should all try to LIVE IN COLOR!!! I’m not saying throw caution to the wind and your responsibilities out the window. I’m just saying, don’t let years pass by before you stop the color from draining. Find a way to do whatever it is that fills you with color.
By the way, I’d love to know what that is and if you’re not doing it, what is holding you back?
Until next time……be well!
Just wanted to let you know that Be Well Heart and Soul participates in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. When you click on a link and make a purchase it allows me to earn a little commission without any cost to the reader.